Friday wasn't any better.

I worked even more! she had me help with surgery! the first catheter I butt-scratched (that was hard enough in itself) but I held for the 2nd catheter. he was all of 6# and had crap veins so it was a 'no go' but I held off and restrained and did all those things. I held for blood pulls. I held for temperatures (on 2 mildly angry cats..)  I was back and forth several times so didn't start on "my" paperwork for many, many hours. all in all, I did 11.46 hours - not how I wanted my day to go. especially for a Friday, it was still only a "Thursday". at least I did get a break at lunch (extended time for lunch) to pick up my prescription. my head was hurting by the time I got home and was in such a crap mood.

then Saturday, up early again for work. R wasn't even awake. I was very careful to not wake him when I got up, I kept the pets quiet and left silently. I tried to stick to just my paperwork and keep my light off for longer. I still helped with appointments (doing the first appointment! an 8 month 79# doberman puppy!) but tried to hide in my office as much as possible. we ended up with another emergency so I helped with xrays and catheter, but he wasn't feeling well and was sedated making my life a little easier. I was able to focus more on my files and faxes and records. it was nice. I still did 11.41 hours because I had to find all the files. by the end of the night, I was missing 1 file because we had so many emergencies and surgery files. so, I worked 33 hours for the week. that would be a typical work when I'm not sick. so if I had worked Monday - if I'd not had an MRI - I would have had normal crazy insane work hours.. 

Sunday flew by.. a blur.. what did I do? I don't even remember.. what was it? I hardly slept. with my new meds, I can't take any antihistamines. I can't take any sleeping pills. I can't take any vitamins. so.. I can't breathe at night because apparently, I actually need my Zyrtec. and, I can't bend over, can't be lateral or the brain pain is extreme. my night med was changed from 25mg to 50mg. my day med is new. i take that every 5 hours if needed. i don't have many so at 4 hours it would last 3 days.. i've been waiting 5 hours to take a 2nd.. then that is iet. i only take 2 a day.. so they do last me - but they don't really work. not that i can tell. i am supposed to see the doctor again after a week so that would be this thursday. 

we went to the dmv today to get our Real IDs and go grocery shopping - and we bought him new shoes.
I was hoping to go to Cosco for an eye exam but there wasn't enough time.  

so the MRI went smoothly

I can't say the same for my insurance.. remind me in October to pick a different company! 

I had already planned out when to leave to be able to get there on time.. and yet I left kind of late. but there was no traffic.. so I made good time. the place was easy to find following Waze directions.  

I checked in with the girl. she was clickety clacking for awhile. she asked if I had any alternate insurance, because what they had was showing as inactive. I know the payment had just gone through the day before.. my monthly payment. it DID go through. she walked around the corner to ask another girl. 2 ladies walked up to help her. I pulled up the policy on my phone and she verified that it was the same policy. one of the ladies said perhaps their web site is down. I said I have had that issue recently that many times it will be down. she ran it through anyhow because they already had the approval from within the same month. 

she walked me back to the women's changing room to prep. I had a locker for my personal items and they gave me a gown and pants. I kept my undies, socks and shoes. first I got my IV (my catheter). that wasn't bad. I was imagining worse. then I went to the waiting room. from there a lady took me to a mobile unit outside where the MRI was done. I lay on the table and had a covering for my chest and abdomen. they put cushion at my temples and ears and then put the helmet around my head, and "loaded" me into the tunnel. I had the first MRI of noises and sounds, some table vibrations, then they pulled me out of the tunnel and I stayed completely still while he put contrast into my catheter IV and then he pushed me back into the tunnel for more noises and sounds and table vibrations. and that was it. I went back to the women's changing room to get dressed again. then I left.

on the way home, I remembered that I had seen a large box on the side of the road on my drive up, mental note that it was after the "David St" onramp. so on my way home, I got off at David St and circled back to look for the box. found it pretty quickly and walked to double check it. frequently people will abandon animals in boxes or plastic bags. I've seen quite a few boxes and bags but never stopped.. and the whole time this had been on my mind. I didn't have time on the way there because I was on a time limit. I opened the box flaps and there was a plastic pet crate inside!!! there was also a roll of bubble wrap, and a brand new blue tarp (in plastic packaging). I pulled out the crate and there was only a paper pee pad inside (*phew*)

as I was getting back in the car, it looked like my rear tire was low.. oh, no.. I'll have to inflate that next chance I get. I have a tiny tire air compressor in the car, but not about to do that on I-99 with big rigs flying by. and don't want to forget and get stranded. I put the crate and bubble wrap and tarp in the car and work on breaking down the box (with the gusty wind from I-99 big rigs and cars, mind you..). I climb back in through the passenger side, start the car, and my "check engine" light is on. jeez!!! 

I wait for a break in traffic and jump back onto the freeway, get off the next exit and circle around to go south again. the car is driving pretty normal but I'm still worried. I have the 'grapevine' to get up, no easy task.. many a car is discombobulated on the 'grapevine'. as I'm nearing Tejon Outlets my car starts to feel like it's driving kind of wonky. I get off the freeway and it seems to be driving fine again. but now I have to get back on the freeway through crazy mall traffic. goodness, gracious.. 

I get back on the freeway, praying to the car gods that we can do this! not a big deal! I know this is my local putt-putt commuter and I've just gone over 100 miles but we can do this! we can make it up the 'grapevine'. we can make it home. and we did! boy, did that worry me though..

after the MRI, I came home and rested a few hours.. but cabin fever got the better of me, and I needed to start cleaning. I haven't cleaned in months. 2 months? 3 months? 5 or 6 months? I started with bathrooms because I got up to pee, and - yeah - the bathroom NEEDED to be cleaned! so I cleaned the sink and the toilet.. then later I cleaned the floor. well, okay, I'll clean our master bathroom too then. so I did that too.
and I figured Tuesday I'd clean the cat bathroom. do boxes. and toss the trash. and clean the sink, and the tub, and that nasty toilet that hasn't been flushed in years (it never gets used..) and clean the floor. well, Tuesday I had major light sensitivity and dizziness. so, no. the cat bathroom did not get cleaned. 

I went to work on Wednesday and everyone asked about the MRI. what's to tell? I didn't know the results. it wasn't bad. it wasn't scary. it didn't hurt. it just "was".
I tried to stick to *paperwork only*. I tried to stay in a dark room with the lights off. I had left at a little after 8 hours on Friday, I didn't finish everything but it was 8 hours and I was done (physically, mentally, emotionally).
when I arrived at work the boss was coming out to her car and she told me how mad everyone was that I didn't communicate, that I just left everything, and they all had to find it, and they were there late, as well as dealing with it on Saturday. the longer she talked, it was more just one person who was mad, not 'everyone'. she also told me that the things I do, my tasks dealing with controlled substance drug logs - I now have to train someone else for the days I'm not there because *we* can't get behind, she has a business to run - I've been keeping up on them, so who's getting behind? and, the web site is my log-in, so.. it is sort of awkward to train someone else to be doing that with my log-in.
I also found out that one girl, the newest one who started last summer - she's leaving. her last day is July 25th. so I wouldn't train her.
I always offer to come in on the days we're closed to catch up, so the others aren't bombarded by doing their work as well as mine - but the boss doesn't let that happen. 
the other thing was that the one person I told about the only missing files I needed for Monday, the part where I was stuck - she was the one person who was maddest that I left. and yet, she didn't know I was going home? that was kind of the whole reason I was telling her. I said 'these are the last 2 files I am missing for Monday, and the doctor still has them'. uh.. okay.. 
but, anyway.. it was the day of 52 am dental hygienist appointments and 6 pm doctor appointments. most of the am appointments cancelled because we had a wonderful april fool spring snowstorm and people got snowed in. i helped with getting a temperature on 2 doctor appointments. tried to clear my desk of random nonsense and do my paperwork to not leave for anyone else. i finished all the files so there would be no confusion of anything missing.
then they started pulling out the food for the wednesday weekly staff meeting. ugh.
we need to prepare our charts of appointment logs and invoices & costs.. ugh.
so.. I'm in it for the long haul. I - did - a - LONG - day !!! 10.64 hours !!! that's my old typical !!!
I was mad that this point. 8 hours. where's my 8 hours? what happened to 8 hours? 
it gets me more hours.. more money.. but at what cost? what's the penalty? 

I went to work Monday.. a little over 8 hours.

      I told my boss I'd do Monday but still only paperwork. the appointments I had done (the 'restraining') was too much for me. she said I need to learn to say "no" if something is too hard. at one point, one of the girls asked for help but said it was okay if I couldn't. I said no, best if someone else does and she was fine with that. I tried to stick to only paperwork. I waited all day for an email from R saying my prescription was ready at the pharmacy. I was going to go at lunch if it was ready.. nope, not yet. in the afternoon, the last few appointments of the day, everyone was busy - it was the receptionist and me - for 3 superwiggly dogs.. pick and choose the lesser of 2 evils. I picked the lesser (was actually a good choice). I came out of the room and I told the boss the "whoos" and "whats". then our last and final appointment was waiting, almost an hour late, a guy who talks a lot and loud, and his loud aggressive dog.. I went in the room and the dog just barks nonstop while I'm trying to quick, to-the-point, ask the owner questions.. then I went to tell my boss the "whoos" and "whats" again. she has me grab what is needed and help with something else
hello.. where's my paperwork-only? where's my chance to say no?? 
then the doctor is in a room - and I HAVE to go.
I need to get to the pharmacy before they close.. 

every time I reach my 8 hours, my boss is not around..
but time's up.. 
I'm not waiting for her.. 
I'd rather not be there but need the money..
at this point it IS all about the money.. ONLY.. 

as I'm walking out to my car, I remember - I still need to get gas, I was going to do that at lunch, and completely forgot.. I made it to the pharmacy at 5:57 - they close at 6:00. 

my prescription was not ready, but the pharmacist filled it right then and there. 
I asked for consult in the event he might give me extra information I don't know -- he didn't.. 
I take it right before bed - it might make me drowsy..

Tuesday was a blur.. I didn't do much of anything. 
I didn't notice any change in my sleep pattern with the new med. I still hardly slept. headache is still there. nothing is different. upon further research, it is for prevention not treatment, takes months to work. i received a letter in the mail that my insurance had requested further information from my doctor before approving or denying my referral. 

Wednesday I texted my boss I would not be in but I could come Thursday to do paperwork so the others didn't have to worry. I ate some breakfast to take my ibuprofen 800. then i took a nap because i had all of about 2-3 hours of sleep. she had texted asking if i could come in because there would be nothing for me to do thursday. she texted again a little over an hour later for an update (i was still sleeping).
i responded when i woke up 6 hours later that my headache was the same, i had received a letter from insurance that they are waiting on further information from my doctor, and that i had gotten a new prescription that i was trying.  

i received a call later, that my referral had been approved. so i could contact radiology to schedule that appointment. finally -- just 2-1/2 weeks of waiting. meanwhile, i have no change. the headache is still there. my sleep is all outta whack from napping and not having a set schedule.. i can't believe a whole month has already gone by (monday was 1 month of headache - we are already, again, at the end of the month, and i'm having to figure out how to pay scheduled bills..)  

i scheduled my mri for Monday at 10:30. i thought i could go to work after - but apparently not. 
next week is chaos week.. monday, wednesday, friday, & saturday. wednesday is the day of 50 appointments within 4 hours, and then an afternoon of appointments too.. the noises and sounds are overwhelming - my head would not be able to handle it so i don't know what i'll do. so far i haven't been able to work the regular 'back to back' work day of a monday/wednesday or wednesday/friday - let alone a REAL back-to-back of friday/saturday. so, do i do wednesday/saturday? can i handle wednesday/friday/saturday? a strict 8 hours of all? i do know that my days at home are so different than when i'm at work. at work, i hurt more. even though i keep the room darker. 8 hours there hurts more than an entire day at home. 

Thursday and Friday were a 'wash'

     I was not able to go back to work these days. so I only had 1 day for this week, and 1 day for last week. a very small paycheck. 8 hours + 9.71 hours = 17.71 hours.

I called insurance again, but still no referral is pending. I called the clinic and they show authorization is still pending. I also found out I had a scheduled appointment - virtual phone call with the doctor. he assured me that the referral was sent because it goes to both Kern Radiology AND to HealthNet. so.. why did HealthNet not have any record of it??  he scheduled me for another appointment Saturday, to assess and re-evaluate. my appointment was at 9:30. I got there 9:24, and waited until 10:17 before they called me in.. and it was not with that same doctor - he doesn't work weekends. I do like the doctor I had, she's friendly. she checked my balance so had me do that heel-to-toe walk (which I can't ever do.. ever..) and then she looked at my eyes, check my grip strength. she wants me to see an optometrist, and she prescribed another medication. this new one "Topamax" I will take only at night for 14 days. during the day I can alternate between Acetaminophen and Ibuprofen. she still wants the MRI and neurology consult. 

I am hoping to go back to work Monday, doing strictly papers.. and I'll try for Friday too, so I can get 2 days in.. I NEED to have a more decent paycheck.. I have many bills that are being put off and I can't avoid them forever. the next week I'd alternate and do the Wednesday and Saturday perhaps ? but the following week I'll see how I feel. if I did a Monday, that would only be 1 day home, and that typically isn't doable at this point. might have to do another week of just a Wednesday.. 
that had been my plan this past week.. to go in on Saturday and catch up on paperwork - but my colleagues had already done everything by the time I decided. in that case I would try to do a Wednesday and Saturday again.. to get myself hours, a day with NO appointments to be sucked into.. and I can still get hours to complete necessary paperwork and take it off their shoulders.. 

so I’m at work today…

    my MRI was canceled on Monday because “rejected by insurance”. I called them yesterday to find out updates and Kern Radiology told me- it’s still pending insurance authorization. aha! but I called my insurance to push it along and that lady wasn’t helpful. I told her I was trying to check on a referral. she asked for my doctors' names, and I realized she was checking if my DOCTORS were covered by insurance, not the MRI. but here’s the thing- she couldn’t even find my doctors in her system; doctors I KNOW are covered because I’ve gone to them already and insurance was okay with it. I’ll have to call back and try to reach a different person. 

I came to work today to help out again with paperwork. and make some money 💰 they’ve had me help hold for a catheter, and set up IV fluids and pre-op injections, then I’ve also held twice for lab pills, plus an anal expression. and then I cleaned rooms after appts 🤕 this isn’t doing too well for my headache. I had a couple dizzy spells from trying to bend down and then get back up. the ‘bend down’ is a little painful, but the ‘get back up’ is what’s dizzying. ugh.. 

I had thought about coming Friday as well. but today might wipe me out for the week. I’ll have to see how I feel tomorrow. I’ll also have to see how drs appts and insurance and MRI go. 🤷‍♀️

I know I haven't written in ages.

time has flown by.. Ron had his surgery October 10th.. I did a 5k walk October 13.. he had to get through the post op crap (and I mean.. "crap") he's still dealing with a crap.. 
Thanksgiving was at his mom AND my sister. Christmas was at his mom, and my mom ? my phone stopped working that day - a lovely fluke.. we did end up finding my mom at my sister's (thanks to my brother.. the ONLY one of the family I could connect with..) New Years was spent at home.. a quiet.. low-key day at home..  January flew as slow as mud, like it usually does..

February I looked forward to having my birthday day off work.. that was another low key day at home. we had bought some duck to make for dinner. it was put in the fridge to rest for several days.. but not quite long enough. it needed 1 day more.. so we ate it 1 day late.. I colored my hair that same day.. pink. I colored it pink.. didn't turn out as well as I'd hoped. more of highlights than the actual whole head like I wanted.. but oh well.. live 'n' learn. back at work on Friday to look forward to a weekend. then Sunday I went shopping with my mom, 2 of my sisters, and my niece.. that was fun. we had breakfast at Black Bear Diner, then shopping around the nearby outlet mall. I had a lot of fun, and "splurged" on waffles with eggs and sausage (after being sugar-free since mid-June).

the next morning felt, murderous.. 
I woke up 10 minutes before I needed to - and everything was too bright. 
I closed my eyes for a couple more minutes - actually an hour and a half later.. 
crawled up the stairs to the phone to call my boss. 
miserable migraine. 
she said to come in later if I felt better.. 
but.. that was 3 weeks ago (3 weeks, minus 2 days).. 

I went to a doctor after 2 days because things were not improving. 
she gave me a pain injection, and prescription pain killers. which did nothing.
6 days later I went back to see if she could prescribe something else that might work.. 
what she "prescribed" was to take Tylenol and go to the emergency room for a CT Scan. 
emergency room? do you know how expensive that is? 
I tried calling the Radiology Center 60 miles away but they would not see me without a referral through my insurance. 
so.. I contacted the clinic receptionist - no referral, I'm supposed to go to the emergency room. 
the following week - I went to another clinic (same "family" of medical offices) to try to get a referral or other options of what to do.. he prescribed extra-strength ibuprofen and gave me a referral for an MRI. 2 days later the Radiology Center called me to schedule it - pending my insurance approval. 

I went to work yesterday to do some paperwork, make some money (I hadn't been to work in almost 3 weeks.. used up all my sick and vacation time.. I have nothing left). that afternoon, Ron emailed me to let me know that my MRI appointment was canceled as my insurance rejected the referral.

so, still have my headache.. the Ibuprofen does nothing, just like the Nortriptyline, and Vanquish and Excedrin, and Tylenol, and Imitrex, and Toradol..  

I'm at my wit's end with frustration.. 
I should go to work Monday to make money.. but yesterday hurt my head so much and wore me out.. 
I should go to the doctor - again.. but what will they do next? 
they haven't done much of any testing.. a blood test? eye test? 
I have normal blood pressure and temperature.. 
one doctor check pupil reflex. 2nd doctor test my hand eye coordination.. 
and then what? I don't know what they should do.
if I did, I wouldn't be in this situation.. 

oh how I love weekends.

 I really miss Ron and the dogs and the kittiy. makes me want to cry the night before work. I LOVE being home, and absolutely hate going to work. it causes me stress diarrhea☹️ 🤦‍♀️

Ron’s still struggling with post op. he has allergy to penicillins now. his nose still causes him problems. he had gone to our local clinic for the allergy. then to his surgeon for post op progress. the surgeon drained some more out of his sinuses. REALLY helped Ron breathe for the day. but by night he was back to congestion. it causes pressure behind his cheeks and in his eyes. and his sinuses will just completely randomly drain on their own. under his left eye is a bruised area from the sinus pressure. I think this is his new normal ☹️ ugh. 

we’re expecting our first snow tonight. I hope I can be home from work before the storm comes. then tomorrow I can be home and cozy. I’ve made no plans. I’ll need to call for X-rays however. my right ankle is still quite painful, and was slightly swollen last night (probably from the 3 mile walk I took)