oh how I love weekends.

 I really miss Ron and the dogs and the kittiy. makes me want to cry the night before work. I LOVE being home, and absolutely hate going to work. it causes me stress diarrhea☹️ 🤦‍♀️

Ron’s still struggling with post op. he has allergy to penicillins now. his nose still causes him problems. he had gone to our local clinic for the allergy. then to his surgeon for post op progress. the surgeon drained some more out of his sinuses. REALLY helped Ron breathe for the day. but by night he was back to congestion. it causes pressure behind his cheeks and in his eyes. and his sinuses will just completely randomly drain on their own. under his left eye is a bruised area from the sinus pressure. I think this is his new normal ☹️ ugh. 

we’re expecting our first snow tonight. I hope I can be home from work before the storm comes. then tomorrow I can be home and cozy. I’ve made no plans. I’ll need to call for X-rays however. my right ankle is still quite painful, and was slightly swollen last night (probably from the 3 mile walk I took)

ugh. back to work. again.

I had a whole week off work. 17-22. doesn’t feel like it. we didn’t plan anything because he was a week post op. and we figured he’d be miserable. wow were we right. Wednesday night I got home from work and he was VERY miserable. he suspected a sinus infection. and went to doc Thursday  morning. he had taken AmoxClav and they refilled for him yesterday. he had major sinus pressure all week.. we got Sudafed for sinus pressure. he had diarrhea. he took pepto for diarrhea. yesterday he had a follow up appt with local doc. that afternoon he had an upset stomach, and vomiting, and a fever. and that night he had some swelling under the left eye. this morning the swelling was worse and he went to the clinic for a shot of epinephrine. that was at 8am. he already had an appt scheduled at 11 with his surgeon in Bakersfield (an hour away). Sunday AND Monday morning the local clinic called to confirm his Tuesday appt. Tuesday morning his surgeons office called to confirm today’s appt. I never got to sleep in really. and he napped every day multiple times a day so the week went fast and I don’t exactly feel well rested - although I did absolutely nothing all week. 

yay… back to work..

 I went back to work Wednesday. still slow and fatigued but I was able to make it through the whole day. I did some appts so there was standing. and 30-minute coverage of surgery for lunch so some more standing there. definitely wore me out but I survived. I was hoping to leave work “early” to prep for our early, long day Thursday in Bakersfield. I didn’t end up leaving work until after 10, half-expecting Ron to already be in bed. he was still awake and told me we had to be there at 9:15 not 7 like previously planned. *phew*

I had already packed Gatorade and water and a granola bar. my tablet was charged for reading during surgery. Ron woke up with a gout attack (probably from all the stress) so I was driving.. no napping on this drive, no texting Gale or Tammi for where we were going. he couldn’t remember what freeway number to transfer to. so we took the wrong one. and then drove around looking for the hospital - on the wrong street. SO we were an hour late for check in. he had 2 hr pre op then i trucked it to the cafeteria to sit for awhile. decided I’d be much more comfy in the car. I came back inside a little over 2 hours later because I needed to be ready for the call from doc when he was done. he did well. I called his Gale because she and Tammy had kept calling and texting when I was waiting for the doctor call. once he was truly awake and getting dressed, the nurse reviewed discharge care with me. I went outside to be big the car around while they were going to wheel him out - and then the hospital went on lockdown for an active shooter. hooray. so all in all, we left at 8:30a and got home at 7:30p. long long day. I was expecting it to be only half of that. so no chance for resting. 

Friday was another semi-hectic day of getting back into routine. thankfully, I didn’t have to cover 30-minute lunch on surgery that day. 

Saturday is such a blur.. the day came and went and I can't even remember what happened. 
I do know that I realized late in the day that I had a 5k run early the next morning. I had to be at my mom's at 7:15. I found my clothes I'd wear, charged by iRiver (or so I thought...) and figured out my breakfast for the road. 

Sunday - I never slept at all. I was awake pretty much the entire night with no dream that I can recall.
I crawled out of bed at 5:35 (shortly after Ron had just come back to bed...) and quietly went to the bathroom and got dressed. I went upstairs to gather my things and grab my food.. I snuck out the door around 6:20 and remembered that my car still needed gas. so I was already running late...
I quickly drove to my mom's in Simi (71 miles away) and we made our way to the park for the 5k. I had not trained at all since signing up. and then I had gotten sick which put me even further behind physically. I walked the entire 5k in 57:08. I had planned to run part of it.. but I DID keep a steady pace for the most part. towards the home stretch my feet really started hurting and I had to lower my pace for a bit.. but I sped up again closer to the finish line. I had done it.. I had walked the entire thing, with zero training, and 2 weeks after being majorly sick and fatigued. slowly but surely, I'm come out of this exhaustion. 

so no.. I did not work Wednesday..

well.. not all of Wednesday..
I got prepped at my own pace and ended up late to work.. but they were all happy to see me.. 
they all asked how I felt. 
I explained that I was 'better' - I think they took that to mean best.. 100%.. all good..
no.. only better than I was.. not 100%.. 
I had so many things on my list for the day.. any other day I might have excepted the challenge..
but this day it already seemed overwhelming.. 
I worked at a comfortable pace, wasn't going to overdo myself..
I knew if I pushed too hard, I'd regress.. I'd go backwards on my improvements.. 

well, that's exactly what happened.  we had 4 morning appts, and 4 afternoon appts
the other 85 were for the other doctor - the hygienist.. 
these 4 were for the good Dr - and they were back-to-back on top of each other.. no breaks.. 

I finally made it to lunch.. just barely. that was my first goal. 
I had told myself I'd try to make it to lunch and see how I felt.. 
I gobbled up my food (no issues with my appetite anymore)
once I walked back into the building, the dizziness returned. 
so did the weakness in my legs. I had worn myself out. 
I used up all my strength in half a day.

I tried my best to drink water, make sure it wasn't dehydration issue. 
I sat down as much as possible to regain. 
one girl said she had that same problem her first day back at work..
but I didn't have covid.. 3 negative tests and no fever...
this was something else entirely.

our appointments started again.. I got the first one..
I got them into the room and reviewed pet history.
I advised the good Dr about the pet, she had me add another item onto her appt list.
she was still busy working on something so I went back to my desk. 
because.. trying to sit as much as possible. 

I was to teach one of the girls how to prepare the bottle of a prescription.. 
I told her how to mix it up. I asked if the label was completed. 
I was told it was not, so I went back to my desk until I could finish teaching how to prepare the bottle. 
come to find out it WAS ready so I was going to continue teaching..
the good Dr told me to explain, not do.. my brain heard her, but it was automatic to 'do'
I stopped myself. but not before the good Dr had seen me doing and started yelling. 

I explained that I was trying. I was trying to get through the day. and I did not think I was ready to come back. that I came back too soon. 
she told me to go home - she'd seen me doing too many mistakes and I should go home.
I don't even know what those mistakes were. 

I dropped it all and went home. I left a note at my desk of where I was on the list, and what was left to do. I grabbed my things and went home. 
I had meant to stop at the clinic on the way home to schedule an appointment to find out what was going on. I was so focused on not being at work, that I drove straight home. 

Thursday we went monthly grocery shopping.. I walked at my own pace, helping put things into the cart, finding things in the store. once we got home I called the clinic to get an appointment. my local clinic did not have any openings for over a week. their other clinic 41 miles away, was able to get me in the next morning.. so I took that appointment. 

I left the house at 9:30 for 10:14 appt. there is major construction traffic in I-5.. so of course I was late.
:(  so.. I had to wait my turn, after all the other people who were on time. I watched the whole lobby clear out.. and new patients started showing up. I had an hour wait, then a nurse took my vitals. another 15 minute wait, and another nurse got me into a room, checked my weight, and took a finger prick test- glucose reading and iron test. both of which were normal. 
the doctor came in and asked a few pictures again. then he listened to my heart and lungs. all good. he did notice in my past records that I had come in May 2020 for extreme fatigue. at that time I was told to rest and decrease my stress - ha! fat chance. this doctor ordered lab work and sent me to the building next door since I was already fasted (17 hours! I had planned ahead!)
I walked to the next building - and the phlebotomist was on lunch... argh.. 
I sat in my car to charge my phone a bit.  then sat inside to wait my turn. 
quick. bada bing, bada boom. she pulled blood, I peed in a cup. I went home. 
well. I stopped at McDs for food. I was starving!! I shoulda brought a granola bar. 

Saturday is such a blur. flew by like a flash. I was supposed to work.. but no. stayed home another day.

Sunday I planned for working Monday.. told myself I could do this..
well, Sunday night I hardly slept at all. woke up with 3 hours of sleep (if even that..)
I got dressed for work this morning - which wore me out. I took 2 naps today. 2 long naps.