I went to work Monday.. a little over 8 hours.

      I told my boss I'd do Monday but still only paperwork. the appointments I had done (the 'restraining') was too much for me. she said I need to learn to say "no" if something is too hard. at one point, one of the girls asked for help but said it was okay if I couldn't. I said no, best if someone else does and she was fine with that. I tried to stick to only paperwork. I waited all day for an email from R saying my prescription was ready at the pharmacy. I was going to go at lunch if it was ready.. nope, not yet. in the afternoon, the last few appointments of the day, everyone was busy - it was the receptionist and me - for 3 superwiggly dogs.. pick and choose the lesser of 2 evils. I picked the lesser (was actually a good choice). I came out of the room and I told the boss the "whoos" and "whats". then our last and final appointment was waiting, almost an hour late, a guy who talks a lot and loud, and his loud aggressive dog.. I went in the room and the dog just barks nonstop while I'm trying to quick, to-the-point, ask the owner questions.. then I went to tell my boss the "whoos" and "whats" again. she has me grab what is needed and help with something else
hello.. where's my paperwork-only? where's my chance to say no?? 
then the doctor is in a room - and I HAVE to go.
I need to get to the pharmacy before they close.. 

every time I reach my 8 hours, my boss is not around..
but time's up.. 
I'm not waiting for her.. 
I'd rather not be there but need the money..
at this point it IS all about the money.. ONLY.. 

as I'm walking out to my car, I remember - I still need to get gas, I was going to do that at lunch, and completely forgot.. I made it to the pharmacy at 5:57 - they close at 6:00. 

my prescription was not ready, but the pharmacist filled it right then and there. 
I asked for consult in the event he might give me extra information I don't know -- he didn't.. 
I take it right before bed - it might make me drowsy..

Tuesday was a blur.. I didn't do much of anything. 
I didn't notice any change in my sleep pattern with the new med. I still hardly slept. headache is still there. nothing is different. upon further research, it is for prevention not treatment, takes months to work. i received a letter in the mail that my insurance had requested further information from my doctor before approving or denying my referral. 

Wednesday I texted my boss I would not be in but I could come Thursday to do paperwork so the others didn't have to worry. I ate some breakfast to take my ibuprofen 800. then i took a nap because i had all of about 2-3 hours of sleep. she had texted asking if i could come in because there would be nothing for me to do thursday. she texted again a little over an hour later for an update (i was still sleeping).
i responded when i woke up 6 hours later that my headache was the same, i had received a letter from insurance that they are waiting on further information from my doctor, and that i had gotten a new prescription that i was trying.  

i received a call later, that my referral had been approved. so i could contact radiology to schedule that appointment. finally -- just 2-1/2 weeks of waiting. meanwhile, i have no change. the headache is still there. my sleep is all outta whack from napping and not having a set schedule.. i can't believe a whole month has already gone by (monday was 1 month of headache - we are already, again, at the end of the month, and i'm having to figure out how to pay scheduled bills..)  

i scheduled my mri for Monday at 10:30. i thought i could go to work after - but apparently not. 
next week is chaos week.. monday, wednesday, friday, & saturday. wednesday is the day of 50 appointments within 4 hours, and then an afternoon of appointments too.. the noises and sounds are overwhelming - my head would not be able to handle it so i don't know what i'll do. so far i haven't been able to work the regular 'back to back' work day of a monday/wednesday or wednesday/friday - let alone a REAL back-to-back of friday/saturday. so, do i do wednesday/saturday? can i handle wednesday/friday/saturday? a strict 8 hours of all? i do know that my days at home are so different than when i'm at work. at work, i hurt more. even though i keep the room darker. 8 hours there hurts more than an entire day at home.