October 4th 2021

Monday was a very long day and I was out of sorts.. more than usual. I HAD my coffee and was still a brainless zombie. I didn’t have my vitamins until lunch but that didn’t even seem to matter. doctor gets mad at things I do, things I should have done better/different.. things I KNOW I should have done better/different..

we prepared the files for the dental hygienist last night.. that took from 8:30-10. I left after that. I knew Ronnie would already be in bed asleep 😞 

I didn’t get gas because it was after 10 at night.. and I didn’t need to get the mail since he had already gotten it.. so I came straight home. then I sat in the kitchen for almost an hour since I can never go straight to bed. no matter how tired I am, I can’t fall right to sleep. I went to bed at 11:30 and was still wide awake at almost 1am.

the roads were all wet when I was driving home, you could smell the “wet” in the air. when I got home, a big flash of lightning scared me, so I ran to the house. my harvest banners were lying on the porch, so there must have been some big wind earlier. I got in the house and kept the dogs quiet then came upstairs.. the small mirror was lying on the cat tree, and the ice box cabinet was moved about 6 inches from where it was 🤔🧐 I can only guess that he bumped the cabinet, which shook the wall, which knocked the mirror down. nothing is broken so I just “reset” it all — this a.m. of course — that’s too much noise to do at 10:30 at night.

I had a dream Sunday night that I was visiting at a hospital. at first I was there visiting the ER. and walking the halls I saw a little old man standing on a bed. he was short.. kinda of like Benjamin Button when he’s young and old at the same time.. he looks like an old man but is the size of a child. eventually I was leaving and the nurse got mad I was at the ER. I ran down the stairs quick as I could so she wouldn’t catch me.

last night I dreamt that my mom got a service dog named Jasmine for her birthday, a “small German shepherd” but she was actually pretty much normal size, and fat.. she also got a strawberry/aloe plant that someone broke, and I was trying to replant it. 

our yard bird is managing okay. I think she gets bored if the dogs aren’t out there. she follows them around.. especially Dude. she knows that he’s her color 🙂 she was sunbathing when I came home at lunch yesterday.. all sprawled out in the warmth.

I’m home 3 whole days now. Tuesday/Thursday are my normal days off.. and then tomorrow/Wednesday is dental hygienist day. tomorrow is commodities from the Kern Food Bank. he used some food stamps points on Sunday to stock up on meats, and then we’ll get dry goods tomorrow. we didn’t go in September because I was too exhausted from work. and it made a difference. we are out of orange juice and milk. once we get our stuff tomorrow, we can go back to the market tomorrow afternoon or Thursday for other things with the food stamp points.

I always think of things to do on my day off.. but then I get time at home and I do nothing - I mean, I don’t leave the house at all.. we went to the market because he said “let’s go to the market”. I’m always trying to get him to do things, let’s go hiking.. but that doesn’t happen. food is important so of course we’ll do that.. but then it’s groceries or the dump.. we don’t do much else. I even consider going to DG when he’s in class.. or thrift stores.. but no. it doesn’t really happen.