April 29th 2021

so.. I know I haven't written in a REALLY long time.. not much to mention. 

work still sucks.. 

I LOVE being home.. 

I love my Ronnie.. 

and love my Dude and Gwen and Charlie and Critter and Mr Grey.. 

got my 7 chickens that I sit around and watch "just because"..

I was off March 23th to April 7th. 2 coworkers were Covid positive, almost at the same time.. so I took a sabbatical from work.  avoided it like the plague it is.. 

that of course made it even harder to go back to work.

the day I went back was torture because 

a) hello.. first day back..

b) NO ONE ELSE was there!

c) I was on phones all by myself..

I've slowly eased back into working.. but we are still way short on employees so I'm still doing things I'm not comfortable doing.. 1 girl just barely came back part time (half day twice a week) & the other lady has decided not to come back at all.

I worked 4 days a week for my first 2 full weeks back, but now I'm down to just 3 days. 

I'd gotten used to just 3 days. there was a reason I cut back from the 4 (I'd do just 1 or 2 days if I could afford it)

partly, the reason I had done 4 days, was to make up for the 2 weeks of no pay.

I had a really weird dream last night.

I was driving someone else to Mtn View Mini Mart.. was following them there so they'd know the way (since people can learn from being followed?)

the guy kept trying to park and then he left.. and I stayed there in the parking lot waiting for him (?) into the dark of night.. 

my sister-in-law was in the dream also.. not sure why but she have me a huge hug since we haven't seen each other in eons..

then when I left Mtn View Mini Mart, I was in the back of Sandy's car.. me and Jax in back, someone else I don't even know in passenger side up front.

it had snowed and she was trying to maneuver backwards through the snow in the dark.. 

a lion (African.. not mountain..) kinda came outta nowhere.. ran alongside the car, then ran back over the top of us and disappeared. Sandy was still maneuvering through snow, this time frontwards.. the person in the passenger seat was gone, and she wanted Jax to move to the front because she didn't want to be alone because of the lion.

she made a stop at the next street and a "car" went by squeezed past another car.. then I realized it was a furry animal shaped like a car (?) that literally squeezed by, rubbing against the other car. 

we turned onto "our" street. Jax lived at the end of the street, I was in a corner house.. a brownstone? you know, those houses in neighborhoods, all stuck together in one building.. 

Sandy didn't want to drive home clear across town, so she went to a rental she owns and climbed into the basement for the night.

I climbed up the neighbor's stairs and climbed across the banister to our front porch, scrambling for my keys since we always lock the door now (this is true in real life). 

I opened the front door to a really strange house. Ronnie had all the dogs with him in 1 bedroom, I went in to the master because I was realizing I'd never seen what the back yard looked like. 

it was a big backyard, almost looked beachy, random plants shooting out of the sand.. we had rv parking, and there were big doggie poops in the yard (bigger than Gwen's).. 

the master bedroom was a mess of clothes all over, and 2 big aquariums of huge fish (some even dead) and jellyfish. I was just staring at all the fish when I woke up.. 

I got an application from Motel6 because I'd rather work there than Mavh.. but I haven't turned in the application because I'm worried about the decrease in pay (hourly might be less but my total weekly hours might be more) and I don't think my family or Ronnie would want me to work there.. 

psychologically mentally it's better (I think?) 

but socially is it? 

I mean, trading a vet tech asst job for roadside-motel housekeeping?

I'd be working every weekend I'm sure.. 

I just don't know..

I really want out from Mavh..

I don't know why my Tupperware, and Avon, and Jewelry Candles, and baby onesies, and doggie first aid backpacks aren't selling.. 

😑 😒 🥺 😖 😩 😫 😭