February 17th

I had a dream.. and I think it was pretty good one.. but once I woke up I remembered the news I’d found out after midnight, just before going to bed.. and I forgot what my dream was about. I just know it was a happy one.. that's all I know.  I hadn’t cried last night, but I tossed and turned and it took a long time to fall asleep. 

my family texted yesterday while I was at work.. “Mom has no one informed the Texans of the change in Dad's medical status?   “His brothers and sisters should be informed I think. If I was ill and I or drew didn't mention it I think you all would be pretty upset w us. I was going to mention to Emma but assumed dad already had.   “I haven't. But Dad has told whoever he talked to, maybe Lolly, that his cancer wad back etc.”

so.. the cancer is back. he turns 91 in April.. very weak and fragile.. walks with a cane when he walks.. and what is the ‘etc.’ of that statement? and.. the rest of my family seemed to not think this the news of the day.. so how long have THEY known??

I emailed 1 sister and messengered another to see if I can find out more information. the messengered sister read my note, but didn’t reply. she’s also probably working so perhaps lunch - if she’s not busy with the baby. 

I’ve had coffee today.. but no food. not really in the mood for it. 😑 watching my 4 episodes of House (sort of.. not really paying much attention to the fine details of each episode..) then I need to feed the cats and get gas in the truck and get the mail. I would much rather hide under a rock for awhile… like, weeks.. or months?

the emailed sister eventually replied. she found out when she was visiting them, because she took mom and dad to their doctor appointments. so everybody has known since sometime between December 7-15? she said Mom is in denial.. if she doesn’t tell someone then she can pretend it isn’t happening. and yet somehow no one else thought to mention it. I know we don’t talk much but wouldn’t that be a reason to pipe in? a phone call, an email or text to call them? the 'etc' of Mom's statement had to do with the fact Dad is becoming demential..

today I've had water.. and, water.. have another chuck eye in the sous vide for dinner.. 

Practical Magic  1995

Reacher S1:E2- E5

ugh.. back to work tomorrow.. it's going to be a very very long day

so long..

farewell..

auf wiedersehen..

goodnight...