September 14, 2020

I feel like I got no sleep last night but I do know I did dream (can't remember what it was at this exact moment.. will probably come to me eventually.. randomly..)
Ronnie woke up in the middle of the night. I didn't know he had, but he woke me up when he came back to bed. He climbed into the side of the bed where I was sleeping (at the EDGE of the bed) hugging Dude. He had his head at the foot of the bed, and his feet at my pillow. Dude jumped out of my arms and I tried to move my way over in bed. I kept asking "what are you doing?" but he was kicking, saying "Gwen move.. move Gwen". I made my way all the way across the bed because as he kicked, he was moving diagonally across the bed. Both Gwen and Charlie did not understand what was going on so they were lying on top of me, part way on my head and face. so I ended up at the EDGE of the opposite side of the bed. Ronnie did eventually turn himself the right way around. 

it was an exhausting day with a walk-in emergency to start off our Monday. we had scheduled 10 morning appointments and 4 afternoon appointments. we ended up with the emergency + 12 "morning" appointments, a 20-minute break, and then 6 afternoon appointments. It was 99.999999 % blood pulls with quite a few xrays as well. my hands are so cramped from scruffing cats, and holding off a vein.. and I am all-over exhausted from wearing that lead gown and thyroid shield for most of the day -- yes, I did take it off in between, but I feel like it wore it more often than it was actually on the rack.. 

I really need a break.. a job where I'm not working so hard and so long.. 
by the time I got to prepare tomorrow's files it was 8:15..
2 employees and the doc left by 8:30
I left at 9:20 for a daily total of 11.86 hours 😩😵😴

and I've noticed that it is taking a toll on Ronnie as well.. he is getting very depressed by being alone for so long.. he has no contact with anyone a) doesn't really have money to leave the house b) covid.
he only has contact with his students for anywhere from 30 minutes to 2 hours in a day.. 
-strangers. 
-on a computer video camera. 
-on the other side of the world.
he is truly isolated 😞